Wednesday, June 18, 2003

People, I'm truly sorry I took so long to come up with this antixiaxue website. I know alot of ppl dislike her. You all must be waiting for me to come out with this website. I was one of those innocent readers myself, having stumbled on her truly horrific website and getting the shock of my life.

You wouldn't believe how I found her site! My colleague at work was found dead one morning at 830am, Shenton way, Afro Asia building. His name is Dilly.

Although his name is silly, (lets not make Silly Dilly jokes as he is dead already) lets give a minute of respect for him.

*minute of respect*

Alright. Now Dilly was the fellow in the cubicle next to me, so I was the first to discover him dead when I tried to put a hand over the cubicle wall to steal Dilly's stapler. I found myself groping an ice cold hand instead, hot blood no longer flowing in it. Ahem. What are u waiting for? It is time to give a loud gasp.

Now Dilly was famous for surfing websites during work hours. I looked over the cubicle wall in horror at my dead colleague...

His face was a pure white. It registered a look of immerse shock; his mouth was wide open and his eyes popped out. Exactly like how the victims of Sadako looked like. I was flabbergasted, but being the brave man I am, I immediately tried to look for evidence instead of standing there like a piece of Char siew.

Dilly looked somewhat like this when he died:


I looked at Dilly's computer screen, flickering ominously with her website. To my surprise, I saw Jamie's photo. Jamie is Dilly's wife.



In fact, this photo was taken BY DILLY THE MAN HIMSELF, ON THEIR WEDDING DAY!

I scrolled down, and managed to find another picture of Jamie, now looking like this:



HOW TOTALLY HORRIFIC!!! YIKESSSSSSSSSS! Personally, I had an affair with beautiful Jamie once and it was an experience not to be forgotten. Oh boy oh boy, Jamie is good at blo-, erm, nvm. The picture made me want to puke when I think she could have looked like this! Imagine how Dilly felt when he saw that he could have been making love to her (second picture) all his life!

Whats worse is, Xiaxue even claimed that the second photo is Jamie's real photo and the first is a result of her amazing photoshop skills! SHE DECEIVED YOU ALL! How difficult is it to just make someone uglier!

Speaking of uglier. U all think she is pretty? My foot. Lets see her real self. Photo contributed by June, who hates Xiaxue secretly too.



Lets get back to our story. The precise time I read Xiaxue saying she edited the photos, the computer went blank. Its screen just started to flicker really violently, and shut off by itself. It was truly eerie. At this point of time, there was lightning flashing in the sky... It was not until weeks later that I realised I tripped on the socket.

Anyway, I was horrified that I lost my only clue to what has caused Dilly's death, coz I was too hum chee to touch that cursed computer. Then I realised that Dilly's dead fist was grasping something really tight. Something yellow.

I opened his fist with some difficulty, and realised that it was a post-it. It wrote in mock, "Wahahahah Jamie looks freaking hideous here! http://xiaxue.blogspot.com"

I have no idea who wrote that, which in turn caused my colleague's death. To be frank, I dun really mind him dying coz in his will, he actually wrote: "To my colleague in the next cubicle, Fucking take the stapler. It is all urs now that I am gone. I hope you rot in hell for the amount of times u made me look for it." At least I got a stapler. Plus the new gal who took over Dilly's place is very pretty indeed.

But although I dun mind Dilly's dying, I still feel like hating Xiaxue. It feels good to hate someone so much. Slowly the hatred grew on me so much that I had to set up this website to let loose all of my abhor-ment for her.

Dilly is not as unpopular as you think. Even weeks after his death, some ppl still read Xiaxue's blog to find evidence to Dilly's death. In actual fact, zQ, Sycrus, John Sim, Jo and all the other readers u know are my colleagues. These colleagues CLAIM that they are trying to find evidence to Dilly's death by being nice to Xiaxue and actually telling her they enjoy reading her blog. So far, it seems that Xiaxue really does not know who Dilly or Jamie is.

But my colleagues are still reading her blog. WHY??? For goodness sake dun tell me they actually enjoy reading it. It is full of crap! I wanna read about the weather! Where doesn't she ever talk about the weather! How about serious topics like politics??? Her blog is so bloody superficial. A typical entry sounds like this:

Yadda yadda my hair is so nice and curly today yadda yadda I love pink yadda I love Eddy yadda yadda I love money Yadda yadda sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex yadda yadda check out my cute fluffy doggie yadda yadda both my hps are pink yadda yadda i love donkeys and llamas yadda yadda who thinks I look pretty? Who thinks I look like Yvonne Lim? yadda yadda


Easy to spoof huh? I can just write that whole chunk out everyday. But no. I will slowly and tormendously argue with every single point she writes. I might not be as free as her to write everyday though, so if u wanna help me out, gimme ur email address and name and I will put u as a member. You are most welcome to spoof her.

Don't be too mean though, she is just a 19 yr old gal. If u are too mean to her I will delete stuff. Although I hate her, I dun really want her to cry all day long. It will be another stupid sad entry, and thats not fun to spoof anymore.

Ironically, to be able to spoof her u must first read her blog. I hope she doesn't notice the sudden increase in visitors.

On a last note, I have decided to use her email add, her enetation comments board, and her blog id (its raining men... (I wish)) coz she is freaking stupid. Not unexpectedly, I hacked into all her accounts with the username Xiaxue and password Iloveeddy. Sp totally predictable ain't it? Whatever was hers is mine now, MUAHAHAHHAAHA!

I hope u guys enjoy ur stay.

Lotsa love, Eddy.

Yeah yeah okie laugh ur heads off. My name is really Eddy. How freaking coincidental. And I am an engineer too. But I am not that adonis. You guys may called me Eccentric Eddy from now on.

Lotsa love, Eccentric Eddy.

10 Comments:

At 4:15 AM, Blogger couttay said...

if you have MSN add me on deancoutts123@hotmail.co.uk thanks from Dean coutts xx

 
At 1:19 AM, Blogger jasminerox said...

you are a mewan little batard just because xiaxue showed jamie for who she really is doesnt mean she is responsible for your frenz little death and i dont even believe that a bloody photo can kill you little batard

 
At 7:01 PM, Blogger Steven said...

no offense but... this is kind of a stupid blog. you should make a blog that concentrates SOLELY on you and not toward hating xiaxue

 
At 2:01 AM, Blogger zє๓ค๔-ﻮคlz said...

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

Xiaxue you're so funny.

 
At 11:19 PM, Blogger jerry said...

tis is absolutely boring n nonsensical blog, sry i tink id rather go dawn's blog.

 
At 11:03 PM, Blogger sarah said...

why do you hate her so much? until u wanna spend time post a blog about her.

 
At 5:01 AM, Blogger your ginna said...

Hello? Dawn Yang suck dick, yo.
Xia Xue is so much better and funnier.
Unlike Dawn. Roll eyes.

 
At 10:18 PM, Blogger Pipi & Pupu said...

XX is way better than Dawn yang. Even this site is dead and unpopular =_= Whereas Dawn Yang's hate site is so active and full of readers =D

 
At 2:28 AM, Blogger tynnn<3 said...

Lol, it's so obvious it's Xiaxue! Lmao.

 
At 7:31 PM, Blogger uiyui said...

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